From The Bar ~ A Bar Manager Story…

Another segment of a project The Rise and Fall of a Saloon In The Latter Part off The Twentieth Century. These excerpts are not chronological. In fact very little logic prevails…

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The actual running of a small bar is usually done by the owner or his Designated Lieutenant known as “The Bar Manager,” usually the Senior Bartender.

Traditionally, the duties of The Bar Manager” include hiring, training and firing of Crew, scheduling waitresses and bartenders.  In that capacity the The Bar Manager was expected to be responsible for covering not only their bartending shift but also covering for emergency shifts, and getting sick or vacationing bartender’s shifts managed intelligently. The Bar Manager also had to oversee inventory and ordering.  It was The Bar Manager’s duty was to oversee special projects as well as to drop in on other shifts to see to it that the duty bartender is performing up to snuff and all needs are fulfilled.

The Bar Manager is expected to keep the Pour Cost down.

At The Bar, The Owner’s (referred to as T.O. by the customers and this missive) management was somewhat scattered.

T.O. left most of the actual running of the bar to several people.  I was in charge of the Waitressing Crew and looking back on it I think I may have been given that job not as a personal triumph but as a headache relief.  There is a certain amount of people skill required to oversee a crew of women.  In any case I had to schedule the waitress crew and keep the petty disagreements to a minimum.

Eventually I also had to hire and schedule the bands, staff the door and sound man and be sure that band calendars, mailing lists and free advertising were in place.

The bookkeeper oversaw purchasing and accounting.
T.O. usually hired the bartenders but firing any of the crew usually fell to me.

The bartender scheduling was usually assigned according to seniority and the rule with them was that if they were sick or needed time off it was up to them to arrange to have their shift covered.

I think T.O. disliked having a designated Bar Manager to avoid egotistical problems and infighting.  On the other hand, he didn’t like having to deal with petty details of running a bar either.

So we didn’t have a Bar Manager.  That’s the way it was.  And some saw this as a vacuum waiting to be filled.  After all, who ever heard of a bar that didn’t have a Bar Manager?

That vacuum should be filled by the one who wanted a little power, of course.  “It should be myself appointed King”

There was always someone wanting to be King.

“If T.O. would make me Bar Manager I’d show ya how a bar should be run.” was the mantra of the Ambitious.

T.O. would try this one…that one…An exercise in futility, actually because somehow his Bar Managers tended to work less, drink more but somehow spend less time at the bar  than  before they gained the exalted title.

Here we must introduce, Sam, the star of this little morality tale.

He was a good, but not spectacular, bartender.  He pulled his shifts and otherwise was not a troublemaker.  He was not particularly good looking so male customers did not look at him as a bird dog, a threat or challenge to the pursuit of womanflesh.  Not being particularly tall or muscled he was not intimidating.  Women did not dislike him but neither did they seek his company.  He bit his nails severely and his hands felt overly soft in a handshake.  Top this with thick glasses and you had a person who did not draw attention to himself.  He was almost perfectly neutral.

For some reason, possibly the description just listed, Sam started talking about a Promotion.

“The Bar needs a Manager” Sam said to me one night.

“Izzat so?” said I, having an unseen eye roll.  “You think we should advertise for one?”

“No,” Sam went on to say, “T.O. needs to appoint someone Bar Manager.”

At this particular time everything seemed to be running fairly well so I waited…

“It should be obvious to anyone who the manager should be.” said Sam.

I was about to ask him who he had in mind when, like a psychic, he read my thoughts and provided an answer:

“It should be me!” Sam said.

“I hadn’t heard T.O. say anything about hiring or appointing a manager.” I said.

Sam had it all worked out.  “Well, he needs one and it would be good for business if he made me Manager.  I’m gonna tell him I’ll quit if he doesn’t make me Manager.”

The new Bar Manager would have an appreciation for the Funner Things that life had to offer the Rounder and Sam campaigned Mightily to have T.O. make him Bar Manager.

He got the job.  T.O. figured this guy would not be plagued by girlfriend problems and he wasn’t pugnacious either.  Had a lot of bartending experience and Sam had even had put in some time in a deli.  Our kitchen enterprise wasn’t doing all that spectacularly at that time and, as we shall see, T.O. had some ideas about putting the new Bar Manager to work to perhaps integrating The Bar and the kitchen franchise to everyone’s advantage…

T.O. left the waitresses in my control however which dashed any hopes Sam may have had for having a harem but he was satisfied.  He, Sam, was Bar Manager.

There were a few adjustment problems, however.

Sam, in true Bar Manager fashion, started drinking a bit more when he was off duty and started getting into the habit of wanting to buy his friend’s drinks by way of the P.R. key, the comping key on the register.  The P.R. key is for public relations.  Using the P.R. key meant T.O. was paying for the drink.  Giving his product away.  Overuse of the P.R. key tended to make for a high Pour Cost and that, of course, meant there was less profit.

Since he was now Bar Manager it was difficult for the duty bartender to say no to his insistence that the P.R. key be used for his and his friends drinks.  To her credit, Tiffany, the main daytime bartender, refused to do this.  The use of the P.R. key was observed by the bookkeeper and she had no way of telling if, on Tiffany’s shift, it was Tiff doing the comping or Sam.  But since it was Tiffany’s shift it would be seen as Tiffany’s exploitation of the courtesy key on the register.  Tiffany knew this and she was determined to use the key to her advantage not some tipsy mook who thought he was King showing off for his friends.

Sam had to lose that one because Tiffany was the one person in The Bar that T.O. would not fire.

There were a couple of episodes involving the waitresses that “larned him a lesson” of why that area was not going to be his either but that is not the purpose of this example of human frailty

T.O. came up with a good idea.

Charter a fishing boat!  Be the provider of sandwiches and beer!  Take a bunch of people out on San Francisco bay on a day-long fishing cruise.  Come up with a package price.

It was a Good idea, actually.  An idea like this could be a repeater!  Everybody has a great time…get baked more ways than one as you terrorize the denizens of the sea…

Then afterwards, off to The Bar for more drinking and camaraderie!  It could be an annual event requiring a larger boat each year!  Maybe even a Summertime Monthly thing if it caught on.

The beer was easy.

Now about the sandwiches…

He turned to his new Bar Manager.

“Sam!  I need you to make me a number of sandwiches for this fishing trip.  I’ve booked forty people for this thing.  Forty pre-paid packages.  Food, fun and fishing included.  You are to make sure we have enough sandwiches for forty people!  You can see to the bar.  Work the beer concession yourself if you want to.  Even with a no host drinking situation people will tip you lavishly”

The idea made good sense.  Sam had Deli experience; there was a full kitchen available to make the sandwiches…  So Sam took it a step farther.  Rather than delegate the sandwich making to the kitchen crew he would make the sandwiches himself!  T.O. would save labor costs.  Sam would be a hero!

T.O. was not aware of the increased drinking Sam had engaged in and even if he had been I’m not sure it would have made much difference.  The Bar was a bar after all.  People drink in a bar.  And all of the employees were aware that T.O. expected you to control your demons even if he sometimes did not control his.

Still, he was very concerned about having all this work right.

“Now I’m counting on you, Sam.  You have to have the sandwiches and three kegs of beer fresh out of the walk-in refrigerator, on that boat no later than 7:30 Saturday morning!  That’s a week away.  Do you think you can handle that?”

“I’ll Do It Chief!” said Sam the SuperBar Manager.

And the rest of the week the Sam, with liberal demands on the P.R. key, told the world of this project and how great his sandwiches were going to be.  Worth the cost of The Package all by themselves.  And he Sam was going to be the Hero and the Star of this enterprise make tons of money besides.

Sam got to where he was staying pretty late… On Friday, the eve of The Great Fishing Trip I came in and saw that Sam was pretty drunk.

“Um… Sam, have you made the sandwiches for this thing?” I asked.

“No.,” Sam said, “I have it all planned out.  I’m going to set my alarm early and make them in the morning so they’ll be really fresh.”

Saturday morning rolls around and I’m in there at eight in the morning as always getting the place ready to open.

I can’t help but notice that absolutely nothing has changed in the kitchen from the evening before.

The phone rings.

It’s Sam.

Sam had just woken up, badly hung over.

You saw that coming, too, didn’t you?

Well then, you also know the sandwiches were unmade.

And it’s eight in the morning.

If this had been a movie, a darkness would be drawn like a curtain across this scene. Symbolic shadows would be cast by circling buzzards…

Circling sharks might be a better analogy.

Because… Out There… in the Vast Reaches of the Pacific… was a boat containing T.O. and his forty pre-paid packages.  Wanting beer.  And sandwiches.

I had about six hours to visualize the situation and my imagination ran impossible but interesting scenarios trying to imagine what must have been going on.

T.O. finally came in.  By himself.  No happy entourage of revelers in tow…

He looked haggard, as if he had been chased all day by villagers carrying torches and pitchforks.

Since boats and fishing was involved perhaps it was being chased by villagers carrying fishing gaffs, harpoons and torches.

He somehow escaped with his life but narrowly avoided getting sued.  Several refunds were given.  Some customers were never seen again.

For weeks after no one was allowed to discuss it.   T.O.’s eyes would roll back in his head…he would start to shake. It took a great effort for him not to scream.

“It was ugly.” was about all anyone could get out of him.

No one said the word ‘fishing’ in his presence for a long time…

The post of Bar Manager was vacated.

From The Bar ~ Liar’s Dice.

Another segment of a project The Rise and Fall of a Saloon In The Latter Part off The Twentieth Century.  These excerpts are not chronological.  In fact very little logic prevails…

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Dice cups and the use thereof, are a strange Social Exercise probably originating in ancient Greece or Rome if not earlier since men have always loved to gamble…loudly…
For the uninitiated, it is a game base played with two cups, ideally made of leather, each containing five die. The game (which has endless variations) is played by the dice being shaken up in the cups and the contents dumped on the bar top and the scores tallied according to the dictates of the game in question. As with most betting games sometimes strict, sometimes silly rules are made up for the varieties of games played.
The Boys, not surprisingly, use this pastime as a stage for one of the many variants of Male Posturing and other expressions of time wasting mentally unchallenging exercises they cherish.

This is best expressed in the Macho Slam of bringing the cups crashing to the bar top with considerable force. Even expensive, well made cups crumple to virtual uselessness after about a year of this kind of abuse.

Somehow, they seem to be convinced that the harder and louder they slam the cup to the top of the bar the more it reinforces their self-image of Paragons of Masculine Prowess making them seem More Impressive (than they already are, of course) and Someone To Be Reckoned With and this of course makes them somehow much more desirable to the opposite sex.

It doesn’t matter if there is music being played (live or recorded) or conversations are being held… the Macho Slam of dice cups is far, far, more important to the players and greet any requests to modify the Macho Slam as un-American sniveling by fags, Communists and whiners.

This activity would go through the lunch period and pick up again around four in the afternoon when the Boys would start to reassemble. The cups were confiscated when the bands started because otherwise invariably someone would demand that the noise cease and the gauntlet will have been thrown down and a challenge issued. The two adversaries would allow themselves to be placated but only after a certain amount of Hard Looks and Huffing and Puffing and throwing of leaves and sticks…. I was kidding about leaves and sticks but you get what I mean…

It never came to blows, of course, but it could interrupt the desired ambiance whenever it occurred so the long view was that it was wiser to just collect the things when the bands started….

There’s a band tonight…

Stu Blank and His Nasty Habits

Great band… gonna be a lot of pretty girls here tonight…

From The Bar ~ The Meat Market

 

Another segment of a project The Rise and Fall of a Saloon In The Latter Part off The Twentieth Century.  These excerpts are not chronological.  In fact very little logic prevails…

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The Meat Market

No matter where they are…

Most people are trying to escape.

__The Write Down Book

Meat market
n.
A market where meat is sold.

Slang. An establishment, such as a nightclub, where one looks for a sexual partner.

Those that called The Bar a meat market most condescendingly were likely those who never got laid.

Certainly some people went to The Bar hoping to pick up a quick sexual liaison. To say otherwise would be a joke, nay it would be a damn lie. With a cynically trained eye a person could stand at the front door with the doorman (a spot I favored) and those people Looking For Something Warm and Wet might as well had neon signs pointing at them. Pheromones would be thick enough to cut with a knife on some nights.

The eyes would sparkle and the lip gloss gleamed wetly on many a lip promising Great Delights if the proper key were applied and some hinted that the lock may not even be engaged.

The universally fetching Great American Icon, the Little Black Dress, would make its appearance along with short skirts freeing lovely legs and even the semi-translucent blouse. Breasts, enclosed in brassieres or unfettered and mobile, would be challenging the restraining cloth of blouse or dress, often threatening to escape…and occasionally succeeding…much to the delighted eyes of the males and the steely, sidelong glances of The Competition.

But it can also be said that people came for other reasons. And some did.

Truth be told, some came for drugs because having a good time and drugs will always go hand in hand particularly among the young as they experiment and challenge the idea that they will live forever. The Owner had a firm immediate termination rule aimed at any employee caught selling drugs. So at The Bar buying drugs was not always a possibility but women could usually find a guy on the make who was using cocaine as a lure. And like any fisherman the guy would often go home with his bait can empty and no fish to show for it.

Some, women mostly, came to enjoy the music and dance..

The man who does not dance is at a severe disadvantage in a live music saloon.

True, some women do not dance but dancing is a refined form of flirtation and a powerful tool when a guy was looking for companionship. Dancing allowed a woman to ‘accidentally’ do touchings and displays she might be too shy to try off the dance floor and the male who spurns dancing because he feels it’s ‘unmanly’ is only impressing himself and often will have only himself to go to bed with that night.

But having said that, many couples met and married via The Bar and at least one wedding was held there.

“Meat Market?”

You read of admonitions to avoid saloons to try to find partners. You should instead go to church groups or special interest groups…museum or art/literary groups. Now a question that might be asked is if you go to such gathers specifically looking for a hookup does that not make that setting a meat market?

Some magazine articles claimed that those trolling for companionship might find such in the local supermarket. At least ‘market’ is in the title of the location so it is, if anything, honest.

Because the hormones are coursing through people’s veins any event or locale that puts a male and a female together can be a potential pick up situation and if an area becomes a popular meeting spot then you have a ‘meat market.’.

Was The Bar a meat market?

You bet it was!

People went there with the distinct aim to corrupt the morals of their fellow humans.

People went there looking for companionship.

People went there looking to slake their lusts

Some succeeded.

Most did not.

From The Bar ~ The Very Important Call…

Another segment of a project The Rise and Fall of a Saloon In The Latter Part off The Twentieth Century.  These excerpts are not chronological.  In fact very little logic prevails…

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Once Upon A Time

There were no Cell Phones.

True!!

And Once upon a time there was a  man…short, glasses, balding…

One of those people you would rather not notice, I guess.

He wasn’t a bad guy…always polite…just wanting to fit in but never quite…

Not too good looking,  Not at all… but something else about him…a sad invisibility…

He worked in the neighborhood.  Some kind of white collar engineer in a small local firm.

He came in every day for lunch.

He would always press through the crowd to tell Tiffany that he was expecting a Very Important Call and be sure to tell him if it came in..  He would be sitting “right over there”.

And it didn’t come.  And it didn’t come.  There was never a call for him.

But he daily would come in, let Tiffany know about his Very Important Call.  He would vocalize those three words a little louder and glance around to see if anyone noticed who the Very Important Call would be going to.

It made him special for just a few seconds…

Then he somehow would become invisible…as if he’d never been there.

One day it happened… The Call came in.

What was it about?  Who knows.

The thing is… from the time Tiffany called his name until he picked up the phone, a distance of maybe ten or fifteen feet,  he grew six inches taller and two thirds of his hair grew back during those few steps.  He looked Important which, of course, he must be.

Who else would get a Very Important Call?

Did anyone even notice or care?

Doesn’t matter.

He did.

There are some people who live their entire lives without anyone hailing them from the other side of a room

___ The Write Down Book.

From The Bar ~ The Mating Dance~The Little Black Dress~

The Mating Dance is a series of obvservations of human natrure in pursuits of  (more or less) romantiic endeavor   They are not in any particular order.  That would imply rationality .

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She was an average looking girl, a little on the plump side but not obese…the kind of plump that, on a young woman, can seem sensuous to some men.

She was looking a little downcast and was sitting on the stool by the side door when I came in.

“Why so glum?” he asked

“I’m going to a party I really don’t feel like going to.” she sighed.

“Wellll…why are you going to it if you don’t feel like going?

“I don’t have a date. I hate it when I don’t have a date.”

“So don’t go.”

“I promised I would go.”

“Are there going to be unattached males there?” Iasked.

“Sure,” she said, “but there will be lots of competition, too…”

I pondered this for a moment….

“You got a Little Black Dress? he asked.

“Of course I do. Everyone has a Little Black Dress.”

“Okay… do this… wear the Little Black Dress and no underwear. Not a stitch of underwear!” (admonishing finger held in the air.)

“What good will that do?” she asked.

‘By itself, none,” I said. “What you need to do then is to whisper in one or two of the guy’s ears, breathy like, and tell them that you’re naked under that dress and they’ll be on you like ants on honey.”

She thought about this for a while and said “what have I got to lose?”

The next day I received flowers at the bar…

The Mating Dance ~

“How Can I Love You If You Won’t Lay Down?”

Chuck Wagon and The Wheels